The Many Occupations of Tim Tebow: Volume 1

If someone is terrible at all the technical skills listed in a job description, conventional wisdom says they will be fired in short order. Intangibles and personality mean diddly for the individual that lacks the necessary skillset to perform the job, but the words conventional and wisdom do not apply to Tim Tebow. The man can’t throw the football yet he will always come through in the clutch.

The question here is, does the Tim Tebow method cross over to other careers options? Youtube has the answers.

Samurai

A samurai must to be able to strike and defend with precision. If not, this will happen.

Kenjutsu does not allow swordsmen to habitually make simple mistakes.

Rating: Admirable, but dead (0.5 stars out of 5)

Nuclear Engineer

The potential catastrophe from a nuclear meltdown are beyond comprehension. That’s why incomptent employees are canned quickly without remorse.

After learning that Tim could avert any nuclear meltdown at the last second, he would be rehired, promoted, and given a personal jet to attend a press conference to announce his return to the nuclear power plant.

Rating: Shrug, we won’t die (3 stars out of 5)

U.S. Presidential Candidate

Policy? Experience? Good hair? Matching ties? Hot wife? Tim Tebow doesn’t need those things. He just needs to do commercials like these to remind us of all the adversity he has overcome and use general, uninformed rhetoric to assure his constituents that he will strengthen our struggling economy and weak moral values.

We had a Governator. Why not One Nation Under Tebow? Tebow for 2040! I’m calling it now!

Rating: More likely than you think (4.5 stars out of 5)

Advertisements